Confessions of a "thinks too much"...

I am ALWAYS thinking. ALWAYS. 
I'd like to tell you it is always about really deep, important things.
But I'd be lying. (sometimes it is...these are the "deep" days...I've mentioned such before)

Today I made a GIANT to-do list.
I didn't get a single thing checked off.
NADA. ZIP. ZILCH.
Yikes.
Well, OK...two things...morning workout & a run - but these are kind of to-do list cheaters as they are everyday things anyways.
What I did manage to accomplish however, is a whole bucketload of items NOT on the to-do list.
You see, I can get a little sidetracked.
These days more than ever.
It has something to do with hormones, childbirth, baby food splattered from one end of the house to the next, and the certain freedom that comes with a maternity leave...
I'm rambling again, aren't I?!

Today, while baking, I got really annoyed at the mess that was my baking cupboard.
So I consolidated, organized and cleaned it out.
Kind of random.
But it made me happy in the moment.
And...it DID need to be done.
It was getting to the point that I could hardly shut the door.
Who needs three separate bags of craisins? Seriously...
And chocolate chips....
don't get me started.
I think I am addicted to chocolate chips.
OK...I KNOW I am addicted.
Chocolate chips anonymous. Anyone? Anyone?
I have dark chocolate, semi-sweet, milk chocolate, white chocolate, mint chocolate...
Oh, now I'm going to have to go dig into said collection - YUM.

Rambling again.
Sorry.

The point of my story is that while doing all the things on my UN-to-do list today, I got to thinking.
I thought it might be kind of therapeutic to record some of what ran through my brain.
So -
here are some "confessions":
1. I am addicted to blogging.  Reading blogs, writing on my blog, staring endlessly at pictures for blog, finding inspiration in blogs...you get the picture.  I'm sure I could work it into a full time job IF there was any money to be made.
2. I love 90% of being a stay at home mom.  I strongly dislike the other 10%.
3. I love a neat, tidy & clean house. However, I almost never feel like my house is neat, tidy & clean...and always feels like I have about 100 chores on the list hovering over my head at any given instant, any given day (see above)
4. I am a perfectionist in theory (my head), but not in reality...so I really work on being satisfied with where I'm at.
5. I struggle with balance.  I'm a bit "all-or-nothing".  (My husband coined this term, but I have to grudgingly admit he was spot on.  I will never admit he was right ever again)
6. I like teaching, but would not say I l.o.v.e. it...I would love to pursue a second career that is a bit more creative....graphic design?
7. I have expensive tastes. Bane of my existence. I've tried hard to get rid of them. No luck.
8. I like to cook & bake...but sometimes resent that these things are "expected" of me.
9. I like to be recognized for things I am good at.
10. I sometimes spend all day in my stinky workout clothes and not even realize it.
11. I sometimes don't shower for a couple of days (and I work out most mornings)...this is a new trait since becoming a mom.  It's not that I like to stink...it generally just doesn't take priority. Please don't hate me.
12. I do wear deodorant faithfully (refer to #10, 11)
13. I'm proud of my little morning routine - waking up, feeding baby & working out for 20-30 minutes.
14. I generally feel lucky.
15. I would like to travel to soooo many different places.
16. I love and appreciate my parents perhaps more now than at any other time in my life...I think this is because I see them in a new light now that I am a parent myself.
17. Even though I am quite outgoing, I am shy in settings where I don't know anyone, and I am a TERRIBLE small-talker.
18. I often find there are just not enough hours in the day for all I want to accomplish.  Sometimes it frustrates me, but other days I am so thankful that I can prioritize spending time with my baby.
19. I am learning to "lower" my expectations...in general.
20. I don't like being disappointed, but feel it more than I should (see # 19).
21. I think FAR too much!!

Thanks for listening.
I feel better already.

Except I forgot one.
22. I am a HORRIBLE writer! I've been told this by many an English teacher, professor, etc. I like to write like I talk (and boy, do I love to talk)...so I'm "too wordy".  Gosh.
Have you noticed?

Over & out.
Must go try to cross off at least ONE OFFICIAL to-do item before midnight.
My baby alarm clock goes off way too early these days.