Overwhelmed...

09.09.2011

I have to admit I allowed myself to fall into a bit of self-pity-party the last couple of days.
My hubby is "officially" off on the adventure of his new business which will have him away from home for the first couple of months :(
I am so excited for him, but was sad for our family (especially B-man, who will miss seeing his Daddy every day). I was dreading the tricky-to-do-by-oneself parts of the day and the constancy of being "the" parent 24/7.
It is so easy to allow yourself (or at least myself) to get stuck in the vicious thoughts that percolate in the mind...and all of a sudden something seems far worse than it actually is...I all too often let this happen to me...and when it does? Instantly overwhelmed.
I pride myself on being a strong, independent & capable individual, so those feelings of being overwhelmed frustrate me. I'm not sure how they so easily & constantly infiltrate my mind. But (and this is a big but) - what makes me happy about it all is that I am now mature enough and solid enough in the knowledge of who I am that I can recognize these feelings when they show up (although sometimes it takes a day or two of total grouch for me to "snap out of it" so to speak).
Our family's single-parent status is temporary. Many don't have the same luxury.
So today, I let my toddler chase me down the hallway and into his bed, where we both collapse and giggle hysterically. I grab him in a bear hug and snuggle into his hair, take a deep breath and realize that instead of dreading the next few months, I need to cherish all these precious moments I get to spend with my boys.
Overwhelmed no longer.
Simply.
Blessed.

And...on a sidenote...a flashback!
As I typed the date above, I realized that exactly two years ago on this day, I was hoping, wishing and willing my first born to be born. Two years ago, this was my due date! Wow, how time flies :)