December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)
Hmm...it is hard to pick just one moment, so I will pick one of the most vivid sensory days for me this year (while camping in July).
I was valiantly trying to get back into my running habit, so had taken B out in the chariot for a jog...I remember feeling very energized and alive - there had been a bit of rain the night before so everything was wet and green and smelled just so fresh. I was really savouring the fresh, crisp morning air, azure sky and bright sunshine and kind of lost myself in the moment, appreciating the beauty of the park and the silence around me. When I looked up, there was a skunk crossing not even 6 ft in front of me (and I had my dog on the leash next to the chariot...to this day I'm not sure HOW he didn't notice that skunk!). For the record, I could say the one true phobia I have is of skunks. Amazing how I felt in that moment. It is like time stood still...as I prayed that the dog would not take after the skunk, that the skunk wouldn't stop, how I was trying to calm my racing heart and keep breathing so as not to hyperventilate, how I was trying to keep the running rhythm so as not to disrupt the peace and cause a major catastrophe. Honestly, the one moment felt like it took hours to pass, when in all likelihood was only a matter of seconds. Thankfully the skunk passed and continued on his/her merry way without even a glance in our direction. The immense relief was almost palpable. I had to actually slow down and walk for a few minutes to get myself to stop shaking.
Later that day I remember loving the smell of the fire, the crackling of the burning wood and the calmness and peace that reverberates after dark in a campground, with the sound of my husband quietly breathing and turning pages in his book as we both tried to read by the light of the fire and lantern. To this day, I still appreciate the effort my husband took to spend each night that week with us at the park - for him it meant adding an hour of commute to his day, and it made me feel like B and I were the world to him. I had such love and appreciation and my heart just felt so full. I remember that day and those feelings vividly.
December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)
This one is easy. I watched my little boy grow :) I have always been a little struck by the wonder of we humans. Truly amazing creatures...that we start from the joining of two microscopic cells and become these complex living, breathing machines blows me away on a daily basis.
This year I attempted to rid myself of all the clutter that tends to gather...I did pretty well, although would say the household could really use another thorough cleanse. We are so fortunate to have so much so as to have excess...I have passed much of this on to those in need.
I also let go of a longtime friend this year. Our friendship had faded and we had been out of contact for awhile, but I still harboured feelings of regret, frustration and even maybe a bit of resentment for the assumptions made during that time. This year I was able to accept it for what it is and to let it go. We have different lives and different priorities...and while it is painful for friendships to be lost, the waxing and waning is natural and a part of life. I wish this person nothing but the best in life.
I also definitely let my "body" go this year...the desperate attempt at getting back running slowed to a halt. I am frustrated that I didn't ever really lose my "baby weight" but have accepted that my body has changed forever. In the new year, I hope to reevaluate this part of life and hope to be able to make fitness more of a focus. I won't run a full marathon by 35 (which has been a longtime goal)...but someday I WILL.
Since returning to work, I have let go many of my domestic duties. I let dirt, grime and chaos accumulate to the point of it being overwhelming, and then I attack like a person possessed. Definitely not ideal, but it is reality. Something has to give when there are so many hats to wear. This is what I "let go" of to retain my sanity. Again - hoping to reevaluate this in the new year so as to avoid those days of being overwhelmed.
How are YOU reflecting on 2010?
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