Two

10.23.2011

Love these two.

Don't love how frustrating it is to try and get a picture of both of them together at this stage...but after a bit of editing this one may work as a keeper! Yay and a big thank goodness for technology :)

Outakes

10.23.2011

What terrific sunshine today :)
I was a bit under the weather (finally succumbed to the cold that the rest of the family has) and didn't get outside much to enjoy the sun, but didn't want the day to go totally to waste. So, I decided to attempt xmas card photos of the boys(for the umpteenth time) as I'm feeling like the nice days are definitely getting fewer and farther between. Let me tell you...that 2 yr old of mine wants nothing to do with having his picture taken. From the "deer in the headlights stare straight up to the sky, freeze body in weird position" to the "look anywhere but at mom with the camera stare" to the "I can't be still for greater than .5 seconds kiss & run"...let's just say it could get a little frustrating if you were taking this seriously.

Thought I would entertain you with some of the outakes from the day:

I love that little bro is just sitting/lying there at all times as he is "supposed" to be doing...and his expression sort of says - what the heck are you doing, brother? Get it together!

A thousand tears...

10.21.2011

I have started this post multiple times.
I have even saved a few drafts.
But I haven't been able to adequately express in words what is in my heart and in my mind.

I have shed thousands of tears this week.
A tiny but bright little light was extinguished, and I mourn her loss and grieve for her loved ones who will so desperately miss her every day of their lives.
I can't think of anything that will diminish their pain, but how I desperately wish I could.

I have been profoundly affected, yet I feel so selfish for feeling this. This was not my loss. 
My little lights are still mine.
But yet...

I feel prompted to live a better life.

I've always felt it, at least to some extent, tucked away in some corner of my heart.
My life philosophy:
No regrets.
Live with intention.
Live. Love. Laugh.

But I need to make more of an effort to live this philosophy, not just leave it tucked into a corner. Tucked away is not enough.

Life is so uncertain.

So short.
So unfair sometimes.

A thousand tears are not enough.
Nothing will ever be enough to replace that little light that was taken.

But living our lives to the best of our abilities each day is a step in the right direction.
I hope that effort in some way honours her memory.

Please...
to all that read this -
make the same effort.

Love. Cherish.
Make every day count.
Carpe diem.

Hugs xoxo

10.17.2011

Just hug those you love with all your might.
Love with all your heart.

Please keep, in your thoughts and prayers, our friends that would give anything to hug their little girl again.

About as good as it gets...

10.17.2011

Well, attempt #2 at a "Christmas card worthy" photo. Just to be clear, I categorize that as any picture with both boys looking at camera, semi in focus, not in pj's/naked/diaper (ie: actually clothed)...
BUT:
This is about as good as it gets...one boy stalling just long enough in the bawlfest to glare down the camera mom with the camera while other boy literally runs circles around first boy (cause that is for sure exactly what "come sit by your brother and smile" looks like).

I had a real vision for this session...but I guess that vision will just have to percolate in my mind a bit longer as it is not going to come to fruition...not with these boys.

Yup, we are totally a 3-ring circus. That's just the way we roll.

And at the end of it all, what is the point in getting frustrated.  Might as well just laugh it off 'cause I love these little men with all my heart and life would be quite boring without them.

So...this just may make the Christmas card after all!

Thankful

10.10.2011

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

I have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving...

The boys & I headed to "the farm" aka "Gamma & Gampa's" for some r & r, good food & family time.

We had such a good time.
Spending time with family is like a little mini vacation for this momma as the more people around to be entertained by 2 yr old, the better behaved said 2 yr old becomes.
There is so much that I love about spending time on the farm...but the best part I just don't know how to put into words.
The farm...it is just part of who I am. It has shaped who I have become in a most fundamental way. I feel all rosy and gold and warm and proud and content. I love sharing it with my boys and I am so thankful that they get to experience the farm, even if it is only in small snippets.

This weekend was filled with trips to the field to move machinery, checking pastures, feeding cows, tractor rides, quad rides, being silly, movie watching, puppy training, bird watching, being goofy, lots of hugs, kisses, giggles & belly laughs, friends, good food, pretty sights and quality family hang-out time. It is just what I needed, just what my two little men needed.

So many memories made.
So much to be thankful for.

(Oh, and by the way "boys feed cows" - as stated by my 2 yr. old.
Hey 2 yr. old! Girls feed cows, too...just so you know.)

Here are some glimpses into the weekend...

- late crops...waiting to be harvested or baled for green feed

- B helping Grandpa move the swather

- pretty fall colours

- watching the geese

- being an imp

- eating "popcorn" fresh off the cob

- skies of all shades

- checking cows, learning how to call "cuboss"

- riding in the "twuck" with Grandpa & Pepe checking pastures

- five of the people I love most in the world, all in one shot!

- giving ol' 3J some love...what a wild gal!

- a good momma with her babes

Today Is Important

10.03.2011

Firstly - I apologize.
I am about 759 blog posts behind...(well not quite that many but you get the point).
I've been struggling a bit with the ol' photo-taking mojo and thus have not had my heart into editing (I usually at least web resize & sharpen all my blog pics) so I have words down for several posts but haven't yet added photos.  They're coming, I promise...just like Christmas.

Life seems to be absolute nuts.
I think it has something to do with having a capital B busy 2 yr. old in the house and an almost 6 month old who lately thinks sleep is highly overrated and an absentee husband...but this momma is struggling to find her "balance" right now.  Have no fear, I know I'll find it, but I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed on a more consistent basis than I ever have before. It is not a feeling I am comfortable or familiar with, nor a feeling I want to stick around for long...so I'm busy re-prioritizing and unfortunately what is getting tossed is what I consider "me time"...the time I take to play around with photos/computer etc.
Thanks for understanding.
But I digress...

The whole reason I'm writing this post is two-fold...to remind you all (and myself) how stinking fabulous and amazing everyday, ordinary, crazy life is and to remember this specific moment.

I'll set the scene...
So - baby had just gone down for a little nap.  Toddler was busy (toddler is almost always busy). Momma was tired and wanted just 5 minutes of deep breathing and "relax" time. So - momma grabbed her book, and told toddler to grab his book, and said "let's just read our books for 5 minutes, buddy"...to which toddler replied "be back" (with an intense eyelock). Toddler comes back with a Clive Cussler novel and announces "Bennett's book" (with accompanying belly tap - love how he does this lately when talking about himself...guess its just in case there is any confusion who Bennett is, lol). Toddler climbs up on couch beside momma and goes about opening the book and reading it out loud (but under his breath) to himself. He was totally serious & totally into it. I love how much he loves books right now (and hope it lasts & lasts). I love how much he is such a copycat right now. I love how clever he is. I love how sweet he is (when not in meltdown or whine mode that is). I just loved this moment and wanted to remember it.

So thanks, buddy, for reminding me that even though life seems crazy, and lots of days seem to drift by lately with nothing getting "accomplished", that each and every day (and each moment) is important.

That every day is a gift.

And to you all out there in blogland...I'll be back...it just might take me awhile :)